Day 3 - Tue 17th March - Guns 'n' shit

Well that escalated quickly we have now purchased weapons for hunting...

Dog walkers have forsaken me and my poor mum seems really worried about the entire situation. But what really sucks cock is that my birthday party is now postponed. Mum and Nan have now stopped all contact with the outside world which includes the kids. Mrs Ap. is fretting about being in contact with crowds of unhygienic adolescents as her role as a teacher isn’t the safest during these times. This makes sense and to be honest trying to work with a house full of people will be a pain in one’s arse.

Work has gone into overdrive, multiple meetings and days which don’t appear to be achieving anything of great note. The IT department seems to be doing canny and enabling all of the business to work from home in record time. All very dull but thought I’d record it in my daily update.

Conspiracy theories begin....

Bumped into my daft friend Gatts while out on the dog ramble twice today. He raised the theory that this might be a government cull, so the conspiracy theories are starting. This is right up my alley and that doesn’t don’t mean my bottom.

Other stuff…failed to go for a run, must do one tomorrow, footy training cancelled until further notice and it also looks like my match at the Stadium of Light will be postponed. This makes me sad, very sad indeed, as this was my main motivations to lose my flab.

Oh and by the way a high powered air rifle was purchased today in case we end up needing rabbits.

Its hidden in an old guitar box in my studio but don’t tell anyone or:

a) I’ll get a rollicking and

b) it will worry Mrs Ap.

c) I’ll smash your fingers with a claw hammer and ram a red hot poker up your jacksie.

The way I read the current situation water, gas and Netflix will stay on – so the essentials are covered – but food might become an issue with all the bellends emptying the supermarkets. Co-op shelves appeared to be a bit emptier today so thought I’d take precautions and bought a four pack of soup on special offer. That should do it …signing off. Soyez prudent là-bas, les gens!

#Pandemic #Weapons #DaveApocalypse